Epiphany

    You know those times in your life when you try really hard to focus on others, to do things for people in need and completely outside of yourself? What do you do when your plans to help others is foiled??!?!? I swear I'm trying really hard to develop the charity I need to have for the girls in my ward, to do everything I can to help and serve them, and try to forget my own problems, but I am learning that the Lord sees it differently, and knows what I need more than I do. 

    So X-Ray school is going well. I'm getting good grades on my tests, understanding what is taught, making new friends, and too busy to be breathing.  So this week when I went with the ward to the temple, I went with sincere desires and goals to know how to better fulfill my calling, to better serve these girls. But all I could think about all night was myself.  I kept wondering if I'd really be satisfied doing x-ray, if it was challenging enough for me.  I thought about what areas I might like to cross-train in, and then I kept thinking about how much I missed my teaching calling :( 

    Teaching gospel principles class was the first strictly teaching calling I've ever had.  I never really thought of myself as much of a teacher.  I taught swimming lessons for a long time, but never really loved it. I worked at schools a bit in classrooms and did my undergrad in audiology/speech-language pathology, but never saw myself working as a speech therapist, definitely not in a school.  But teaching this class at church I loved!! I looked forward to my class.  I enjoyed preparing my lessons. I loved studying the subjects. Well, that night it hit me! I might not want to be an elementary school teacher, but I love to teach my peers, and I love to teach subjects I know and am passionate about.  And then I realized the possibilities of this.  I've decided that after I've done x-ray for a couple years, if I don't decide to go on to another modality, I'll become an instructor!  I'll probably even get my masters in x-ray.  Why not? A few of my instructors don't even have bachelors degrees! I really felt at peace in this realization.    Still....I was feeling a little selfish and uneasy about not getting the answers that I came for.

    Then I had a nice talk with Ellen.  She's so good, calling just when I need her.  She reminded me that you can't help anyone else put on their oxygen mask when yours isn't on.  Maybe I was just being told to slow down and get my own life in order (if you saw the house this week you would not be impressed in our orderly skills)  I worked that night after that phone call on organizing my plans, my goals for RS, things I need to accomplish in my calling in the next couple weeks, LISTS, and some cleaning....and homework.  Don't worry, I still attended institute, the ward BBQ, even had some friends over to watch the office, and me and LA went to town fixing up the house tonight so we won't be embarrassed when our conference guests arrive this morning.  But now I really feel like this is all going to be do-able.  I feel at peace with where I'm headed, and now I can get to work! Wish me luck!

We were given our markers, radiation badges, scrubs, and clinical assignments this week!  Look at me I'm legit now!

Yea, yea I know I'm holding up the left marker on my right side, but look!  My initials in.....metal!!

WOOT WOOT!